How to Lose Friends and Alienate People
Toby Young
2001
2001
'What were you nominated for?' I asked, struggling to make myself heard over the din. 'Best Supporting Dress?'
She gave me a blank look.
'I wasn't nominated for anything.'
'I know. That's just my way of saying you look great.'
'I'm sorry, what?'
She turned her head so her left ear was next to my mouth.
'YOU LOOK GREAT IN THAT DRESS.'
'Thanks', she said, recoiling. 'Will you excuse me? I've just seen someone I know.'
She gave me a blank look.
'I wasn't nominated for anything.'
'I know. That's just my way of saying you look great.'
'I'm sorry, what?'
She turned her head so her left ear was next to my mouth.
'YOU LOOK GREAT IN THAT DRESS.'
'Thanks', she said, recoiling. 'Will you excuse me? I've just seen someone I know.'
When I picked up this book it was literally just a case of judging a book by its cover; that and the hoard of reviewers quotes. Seriously, while most paperbacks have a smattering of flattering (I did a rhyme) comments from respected reviewing publications tastefully presented upon them, Toby Young's now infamous How to Lose Friends and Alienate People lathers the front cover, back cover and the first three pages in of praise for itself. My edition, by my count, has thirty-seven different reviewer quotes, including an obligatory joke one that doesn't make sense until you've read the book. This number of review quotes is clearly ridiculously preposterous, to the extent that it kind of made up my wavering mind to buy it (which I suppose means it totally worked, except I bought it second-hand so the publishers got nothing anyway); that, and a fun premise.
Toby Young is an English journalist of higher-class breeding, and plenty of credentials in various English publications to his name. This book isn't really about that, nor his youth, family, or life in England in general. Instead, Young's memoirs focus on a very particular time in his life, just after the new millennium as he gained a job in New York writing for Vanity Fair magazine. Although you might already know this because apparently there was a feature film starring Simon Pegg that was released in 2008 and I completely missed. I still haven't seen it because it looks terrible. But anyway, Young makes it very clear early on that this is the story of a plucky (if cheeky) young Brit looking to stretch his wings and take Manhattan. He also makes it clear early on in the book that his attempts are destined to abject failure. By taking the narrative direction in doing this the book becomes a kind of lighthearted (but not always so) self-analysis of a fairly normal, likable, but flawed individual who represents a whole culture of others, but who throughout remains the proverbial fish out of water.
As a Vanity Fair writer Young spent most of his time trying to cope with the overwhelming intensity of the celebrity culture he was by definition attached to. From the beginning he doesn't fit in whatsoever. He irritates colleagues, businessmen and celebrities with unintentional aplomb, in a mixture of some very funny scenes and some very strange ones. A constant theme of the book is his ultimate failure to grasp the unwritten rules of social etiquette he encounters, and as the book progresses he philosphises more and more upon the meaning of these things, analysing his view of the US as a whole in comparison to that of the UK. In doing so he comes of as somewhat of an Anglophile; not in a negative way as such,. but with the ultimate conclusion that his second country lacks the maturity of his parent one. As a Brit myself I did find this a little patronising anyway. In spite of all his efforts, I couldn't buy Toby Young as the down-on-his-luck good guy I feel he wanted to portray himself as.
There's a fine line between endearing and annoying, and the biggest problem I had with the book (which, I might add, is very well written) was that underneath it all, his ego shines through. I admire his humour and his efforts to not appear to have a big head, but when you look at his story from beginning to end, it's obvious that he screwed himself over by being an inflexible idiot who didn't have anywhere near enough charm to get what he wanted. In certain places it felt like he was going for the tone of gonzo journalism, but Young's prose is too informal and friendly to match up to journalistic hipster icons like Hunter S. Thompson.
But it's a good book because it's so provocative. Whether you like Toby Young or not, he portrays himself with a feeling of honesty, unafraid to describe some of his biggest failings. His narration is very good, personal and funny, and it's only as he editorialises more that it becomes sharper. I can see why this book was such a hit with the presses at the time and I certainly recommend it to anyone who likes the sound of the premise, but I can't promise you'll finish it liking the author as a person, because he's a bit of a git.
Toby Young is an English journalist of higher-class breeding, and plenty of credentials in various English publications to his name. This book isn't really about that, nor his youth, family, or life in England in general. Instead, Young's memoirs focus on a very particular time in his life, just after the new millennium as he gained a job in New York writing for Vanity Fair magazine. Although you might already know this because apparently there was a feature film starring Simon Pegg that was released in 2008 and I completely missed. I still haven't seen it because it looks terrible. But anyway, Young makes it very clear early on that this is the story of a plucky (if cheeky) young Brit looking to stretch his wings and take Manhattan. He also makes it clear early on in the book that his attempts are destined to abject failure. By taking the narrative direction in doing this the book becomes a kind of lighthearted (but not always so) self-analysis of a fairly normal, likable, but flawed individual who represents a whole culture of others, but who throughout remains the proverbial fish out of water.
As a Vanity Fair writer Young spent most of his time trying to cope with the overwhelming intensity of the celebrity culture he was by definition attached to. From the beginning he doesn't fit in whatsoever. He irritates colleagues, businessmen and celebrities with unintentional aplomb, in a mixture of some very funny scenes and some very strange ones. A constant theme of the book is his ultimate failure to grasp the unwritten rules of social etiquette he encounters, and as the book progresses he philosphises more and more upon the meaning of these things, analysing his view of the US as a whole in comparison to that of the UK. In doing so he comes of as somewhat of an Anglophile; not in a negative way as such,. but with the ultimate conclusion that his second country lacks the maturity of his parent one. As a Brit myself I did find this a little patronising anyway. In spite of all his efforts, I couldn't buy Toby Young as the down-on-his-luck good guy I feel he wanted to portray himself as.
There's a fine line between endearing and annoying, and the biggest problem I had with the book (which, I might add, is very well written) was that underneath it all, his ego shines through. I admire his humour and his efforts to not appear to have a big head, but when you look at his story from beginning to end, it's obvious that he screwed himself over by being an inflexible idiot who didn't have anywhere near enough charm to get what he wanted. In certain places it felt like he was going for the tone of gonzo journalism, but Young's prose is too informal and friendly to match up to journalistic hipster icons like Hunter S. Thompson.
But it's a good book because it's so provocative. Whether you like Toby Young or not, he portrays himself with a feeling of honesty, unafraid to describe some of his biggest failings. His narration is very good, personal and funny, and it's only as he editorialises more that it becomes sharper. I can see why this book was such a hit with the presses at the time and I certainly recommend it to anyone who likes the sound of the premise, but I can't promise you'll finish it liking the author as a person, because he's a bit of a git.
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